As the groom, you may be thinking that your job is now over. After all, you planned and saved for a surprise proposal that brought your fiancé to tears, and left her with a story she can tell for the rest of her life. Your job is done right?! No… your bride will likely want to take on the bulk of the planning herself and has likely been dreaming and “planning” for this event for years (or at least since the invention of Pinterest!) However, she will appreciate your help and input on things and may not articulate that to you. That’s why we’re here to help you look like the catch you are by stepping up to the plate without being asked!
Handle your Men
Once you have decided who will stand up with you on the big day, don’t leave all the corralling of them to your fiancé. Help her out by picking a few options of clothing and discuss that with her. Arrange a time when you and the men can meet up for a fitting and get those suits reserved (sounds like a great excuse for a bro day). Make sure that your men aren’t late with any of their responsibilities, as this will just add worry and stress for her. If, for some reason, you have that one rogue friend, make it your mission (or let your best man step in to help) to stay on top of him urging him to get it together.
Be the Family Buffer
Often times, the biggest fights and stresses during planning come from trying to accommodate the family’s wants and “needs.” Is your family constantly calling adding things to the list of what they expect at the wedding? Is her family constantly calling adding guests you haven’t planned for? You can help by being a united front. Decide together what things are important to you as a couple and stay firm on discouraging any well meaning family members from derailing those priorities. Help out when the difficult situations arise. Not allowing kids but your brother RSVP’ed with his four?! Make the call and let him know that no children will be attending, and do it as soon as possible. This will take the stress off your fiancé’s plate and make you look like a hero!
Have an Opinion
Possibly the worst thing you could do would be to not have an opinion. Which photographer do you like? “Whichever is fine” Do you like these invitations? “If you do…” These are NOT helpful answers. Be invested in the process and weigh in when asked, with a distinct answer. If you genuinely don’t care which table cloths she picks you can at least hear out the ones she is choosing between and pick between the options given.
Give her a Break
Sometimes all the planning becomes too much. Take time to insist that she put down the planning notes and take her to dinner or better yet, pour a glass of wine and let her hang out in the kitchen while you make her dinner. This could be something you do monthly even and as you get closer and the stress levels get higher, she will appreciate your efforts more than you know! Sounds like a great way to kick off a marriage huh?!